WAFC - Kids Corner Jokes 1

Kids Corner - Jokes

Jokes

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a Zebra? A four legged dinner with its own barcode.

What do you get if you cross a star with a silver cup? A constellation prize!

What do you get if you cross a philosopher with a mafia hitman? Someone who'll make you an offer you can't understand.

What do you get if you cross a black hat with a rocket? A fast bowler

What do you get if you cross a hundred pigs and a hundred deer? Two hundred sows and bucks (get it!).

What do you get if you cross an crocodile with a lion, a parrot and a gorilla? I don't know but when it speaks you listen!

We've all had a game like this..... A match between two non-League teams took place last winter in the North of England. It had been raining heavily all week and the ground resembled a swamp.

However, the referee ruled that play was possible and tossed the coin to determine ends.

The visiting captain won the toss and, after a moment's thought, said, 'OK - we'll take the shallow end!'

The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says its half empty. The engineer says its twice as big as it needs to be!

Whats the red stuff between an elephants toes? Slow pygmies!

I was doing some decorating so I got out my step ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder!

A man goes to the doctor and says I can't pronounce my Fs, Ts or Hs. Well says the doctor "You can't say fairer than that"

Doctor people keep ignoring me. "Next!".

Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains. "Pull yourself together man"

Recruitment made easy!

Or how to choose the right person for The job ...

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and
come back after 6 hours and then analyse the situation.

if they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.
If they are sleeping, put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day,put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least - if they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.

Of course, if they've made the bricks into a makeshift sofa and coffee table, they must be a contractor!

A policeman is driving along the motorway when he notices the car in front of him driving erratically. He pulls along side and notices the driver is knitting a garment.

He shouts "Pull Over!" to them. The driver shouts back - "No it's a scarf!"

A man orders a pizza. The waiter says "Do you want me to cut it into 6 or 12 pieces?" The man replies - "Make it 6 - I could never eat 12"

The 7 dwarfs are involved in a mining accident, the roof collapses and they are all buried alive. After several hours of frantic digging the rescue team hear a faint cry: " Sunderland are fantastic, Sunderland are fantastic." The rescue team leader turns to his assistant and says "At least we know Dopey is still alive!"

It was mid-way through the football season and a third division team were doing really badly. The manager decided to get the team together and go back to absolute basics. Picking up a football, he said,

"Right, lads, what I have in my hands is called a football, and the object of the game is..."

"Hang on a minute," came a shout, "you're going too fast."

Striker: "I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself."

Manager: "I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss."

After a visit to the doctor, Joe Bloggs, the city team's centre forward dropped in to his local pub for a quick one. "What's up mate?" asked his friend Brian, "you look worried."

"Yes, I am," Joe replied. "I've just been to the doctor's and he told me I can't play football."

"Oh, really?" said Brian. "He's seen you play too then, has he?"

The local football team were having a dreadful season. They hadn't won a game for 12 weeks and the manager was at the end of his tether. "Look," suggested a friend one evening, "why don't you take the whole squad out for a ten mile run every day?"

"What good will that do?" moaned the manager.

"Well," replied his friend, "today's Sunday. By next Saturday they'll be 60 miles away and you won't have to worry about them."